Overlooking the glaringly obvious – like the fact I am a twenty-nine year old married graduate, with a mortgage and interest in current affairs, it hadn’t dawned on me until recently that I’m actually now a grown-up. When on earth did this happen and why didn’t anyone tell me?
In my defence – I still know all the words to Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and the dance moves to ‘Backstreet’s Back’.
I was hoping this would be sufficient to keep me young, hip, happening and generally down with the kids, forever. Apparently not. It seems the following truths go against me:
I have no desire whatsoever to throw my knickers at Justin Bieber. A rock, perhaps…(Kidding, obviously).
I almost hyperventilated with delight when my brother gave me a toaster last Christmas.
- The boiler breaks down.
- I flood the bathroom for a second time.
- I accidentally leave a fork in the microwave again.
I have more fruit, salad and vegetables in my fridge than wine or beer.
I can no longer go out three nights in a row and function normally. (Or at all, in fact).
I have an outfit in my wardrobe for every occasion – yet nothing to wear.
The latter, incidentally serve no purpose whatsoever and should be outlawed. I’m starting a petition. Who’s with me?