21 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady

Did I mention I’m a mother now? Here’s my new blog: Love and Dribble. It’s been a while, so please be gentle.

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I loved my baby bump. But it did act as a homing beacon for every ignoramus within a twelve mile radius. Here’s my list of 21 things not to say to any woman harbouring a mini person in her uterus. Utter them at your peril:

“It’s a miracle isn’t it? To think that a baby’s head can fit through an opening that small”. I was just sick in my mouth a little bit.
“Are you worried it’ll get your nose?” I wasn’t.
“Ooh, can I have a feel?!” You already have your hand on my belly.
“I can see you’re eating for two already…” I have just spent sixteen weeks with my head down a toilet. What’s your excuse?
“For the love of God, don’t name it Barry!” Well, I wasn’t planning to. She might get picked on at school.

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