1. “I could have sworn I had 10 fingers this morning. ‘Sausage Surprise’ anyone?”
Oh drat. I’m all full-up from the Bloody Mary soup.
2. “You need to bite off the wichetty grub’s head first. Then you just suck out its insides”.
When you say “need” – is participation mandatory? 
3. “I might have mistaken washing powder for sugar. You may wish to give the trifle a miss”.
I think I’ll brave it. I’ve been looking for brilliant cleaning and long-lasting freshness for some time.
4. “Of course it’s vegetarian. Chicken is vegetarian, right?”
Don’t be an idiot. Fish however is fine.
5. “I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I appear to have misplaced my pet caterpillar Dilbert. Who’s for side-salad?”
That’s terrible. What kind of name is Dilbert? 
6. “You’ll be fine, so long as you eat around the highly poisonous parts of your long-spine porcupinefish”. 
I’m experiencing shooting pains down both sides and have just gone blind in one eye. Is that a bad sign?
7. “Is this how they cook food where you’re from?”
I spat in your starter.
8. “I’m a fruitarian. I only eat what naturally falls from the tree. Steak and marshmallows grow on trees, right? ”
Do me a favour – pass me your steak and let me beat you with it.
9. “I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t find a babysitter – so I brought along Candice, Chardonnay, Tia-Maria, Rocky and Tyson”.
Curious names. Are you familiar with the term ‘child abuse’?
10. “Is this triple chocolate caramel fudge cheesecake non-dairy and non-fat?”
Oh absolutely. Haven’t you heard? All food eaten on a Thursday is fat and dairy-free.
11. “Party games? I know LOTS of party games! Let’s start by throwing our keys into a bowl…”
Let’s start by showing you the door.
12. “Just updating Facebook. Does nauseating have one ‘S’ or two?”
Allow me to demonstrate by a show of fingers.
jessseeker 
“Of course it’s vegetarian. Chicken is vegetarian, right?” ……..and number 7 & 8 were my fav 😀
“? All food eaten on a Thursday is fat and dairy-free.” oh how i wish this was true… 😉 😛
Can you imagine? You could fast through the week and wolf food down every Thursday! Bliss! 😀
Thanks!
ROFLMAO this is hilarious i especially liked the last one lol
Thanks! I censored it for those of a delicate disposition 😉
Oh. I NEED to eat that chocolate cheesecake. Fun post.
Me too. Let’s wait ’til Thursday and eat it guilt free! 😉 Thank you!
Chicken vegeterain…this is so funny!1
Thank you! I know several people who have asked that question! Quite worrying! 🙂 People are funny – often without realising. 😀
That is hilarious!!! I have to admit, every time I see a trifle, I think of the time on Friends when Rachel makes the trifle, including beef and peas – really – it’s a meal in one. With the soap powder, it cleans up too!!!! Awesome.
“It tastes of feet!”
Joey: “I like it!” 😉
Thanks! 🙂
I think pink slime falls naturally from the trees so the fruitarian is in luck.
Ooh, yum yum, pink slime!
I sense that you have a thing for blowfish. No further comment.
Worrying isn’t it? I wonder what Freud would have to say…
He’d have something to say (or smoke) alright…
*Sigh*, I wish I’d know more fruitarians. More steak for me.
As to cruel children’s names, I recently found out what could possibly move people to try and name their offspring Gastritis. Thankfully it wasn’t allowed. In Germany that is…
I’m glad there are laws to protect such children! Gastritis? Surely not! :S
Have you been sampling your brothers cooking again?! 😉
Ha! Never again! 😉
You forgot,
“Oh, I see you brought her/him”
Meaning You 😛
and yes, the appropriate response is the showing with fingers again 😀
God Love Ya ♥
Oh yes – good one. Fingers are surprisingly appropriate at such dinner parties. Who knew?
I know, Right!