Being unemployed does crazy things to a person. The longer I’m a jobless hobo, the more I find myself considering professions that would otherwise have gone overlooked. Such as, though not exclusive to:
- Pole Dancer.
- Forklift Truck Driver.
- Brain Surgeon.
- Life Model.
Fear not – I would never be a Life Model. Being a Superhero however does appeal. Just imagine – I could use my superpowers to rid the world of evil, hatred and Justin Bieber.
Being a caped crusader is not without its drawbacks though. Who knew?
THE TOP 8 PITFALLS OF BEING A SUPERHERO
The Moral Code. Goddam’ it. ’Willingness to risk one’s own safety for others, without expectation of reward’. No reward you say? None at all? Not even Jaffa Cakes?
Chafing. Trust me – no amount of Vaseline can protect you.
Everyone Knows Your Achilles Heel. Most mere mortals can hide their flaws with some camouflage make-up and good lighting. Your faults make the front page.
You’re On-Call 24/7. Even during The Apprentice.
Your Archenemy. One mega-villain trying to take over the world. Again. It’s exhausting.
Upon reflection, I have decided that superheroism is not for me. I think I’ll give brain surgery a go instead.