I Just Found a Chicken Bone in My Cheesecake… Is that Bad?

Having founded his own internet solutions company, run the New York marathon and purchased his first sports car, my brother Oliver decided recently that 2012 would be the year he finally learnt to boil an egg. Cooking has never been a priority to him, with culinary talents at the age of thirty-something on par with my neighbour’s cat.

So to address this glaring oversight, Oli set himself a challenge to cook a different meal every day for thirty days, in the hope he would magically metamorphose into a slim, follicly-challenged Jamie Oliver. Once a week, he held a ‘Come Dine with Me’ style dinner party where each guest rated his cooking and general hosting skills.

I was fortunate enough to be invited along with my mother and youngest brother Mike for Sunday lunch at the end of this process, once Oli had mastered the basics.

Oli's attempt at a pancake didn't exactly fill me with confidence

There was still a moderate risk of food poisoning, but having taken advantage our mother’s cooking for over thirty years, we were all in agreement that it was about time Oli returned the favour. I should have noticed the warning signs though:

1. The roast chicken was the size of an albatross and had only been cooking for an hour and twenty-five minutes.

2. The carrots made a bid for freedom by jumping off the kitchen worktop.

3. Oli referred to his colander as coriander.

But the food was surprisingly yummy. Had it not been for the fact the chef needed to nuke the undercooked albatross in the microwave three times after it first came out of the oven, we may have eaten within an hour and a half of schedule.

Dessert was also delightful – a fabulous boozy cheesecake, laced with glacé cherries. The biscuity base was quite crumbly though, due to Oli neglecting to purchase butter at the supermarket. Praying alone was insufficient to bind the biscuit crumbs together. Mike however loved it. I think… 

Oli took the liberty of documenting the event for prosperity. See if you can notice the subliminal jessseeker plug. It’s really quite subtle:

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that the camera adds ten pounds – and there were at least six cameras on me at the time.

20 thoughts on “I Just Found a Chicken Bone in My Cheesecake… Is that Bad?

  1. Remember my Julie Powell reference to you and your writing, your brother is now doing the same thing as what Julie did. BTW, your brother looks adorable

  2. I was hoping you would give your account of the event. Because I knew that your take would be honest, impartial and – as always – hilarious. Glad you survived the experience to tell the tale.

  3. haha…lovely video..had fun getting to know your family… your mum is pretty… and while i haven’t read julie and julia..i found the movie amazing…your brother’s 30 day challenge reminds me of it… ‘
    best part – “I would like to take this opportunity to point out that the camera adds ten pounds – and there were at least six cameras on me at the time.” hahaha.. hilarious and awesome

    • My mother is gorgeous isn’t she? I had heard of the Julie and Julia film, so must check it out, along with the book.

      Glad you like it! I always try to end on a high note! 😉

    • They do don’t they? Eggs ala Scramblé. Not overly encouraging!

      I have added the above to my list of “Brave/Stupid Things What I Has Done”. This also includes:
      1. Telling my dad to f*** off at the age of thirteen.
      2. Wearing head-to-toe denim.
      3. Cutting my own fringe.

  4. Oh boy, oh boy. Funny stuff though! Way to believe in your brother and offer yourself as one of his guinea pigs 🙂 Is he planning on keeping up the cooking even after the 30 days, or did he finally, once and for all, decide cooking wasn’t his thing?

    • He certainly learnt an awful lot in 30 days, though I suspect Oli’s interest lies in eating food, rather than cooking it. Onwards and upwards to another 30 day challenge soon methinks. I suggested ‘swimming with sharks’ for 30 days, but he was having none of it… 😉

      Thanks! 🙂

  5. Pingback: On a Question I Pose to My International Readers | savanah, pro se

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