Overlooking the glaringly obvious – like the fact I am a twenty-nine year old married graduate, with a mortgage and interest in current affairs, it hadn’t dawned on me until recently that I’m actually now a grown-up. When on earth did this happen and why didn’t anyone tell me?
In my defence – I still know all the words to Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and the dance moves to ‘Backstreet’s Back’.
I was hoping this would be sufficient to keep me young, hip, happening and generally down with the kids, forever. Apparently not. It seems the following truths go against me:
I have no desire whatsoever to throw my knickers at Justin Bieber. A rock, perhaps…(Kidding, obviously).
I almost hyperventilated with delight when my brother gave me a toaster last Christmas.
My husband and I have an emergency fund, just in case:
- The boiler breaks down.
- I flood the bathroom for a second time.
- I accidentally leave a fork in the microwave again.
I have more fruit, salad and vegetables in my fridge than wine or beer.
I can no longer go out three nights in a row and function normally. (Or at all, in fact).
The deciding factor for all shoe purchases is whether or not I will be able to walk in them for more than three minutes without being crippled or maimed. I’m sure this was never an issue in my teens.
I hugged, rather than swore at the cashier in the Poundshop who asked to see ID for my recent tin-opener purchase. Who knew you needed to be eighteen to gain access to chopped tomatoes?
I have an outfit in my wardrobe for every occasion – yet nothing to wear.
I own three houseplants, countless ornaments, roughly thirty-two spare light bulbs and a dozen scatter cushions.
The latter, incidentally serve no purpose whatsoever and should be outlawed. I’m starting a petition. Who’s with me?
I so recognize the shock when you realise you’re really an adult!
Where can I sign?
It is! It really is a shock!
I’ll add you to the list. Am due to send the petition to the Prime Minister next week. Fingers crossed! 😉
I still have a hard time to see myself as something else than a ‘girl’. Maybe it’s because I don’t do ornaments and scatter cushions (I’m in on the petition for sure). And my husband calling me ‘My girl’ doesn’t really help either.
I guess I better get on it, after all I am nearly 10 years older than you and have a child!
Naaah, being a grown-up is overrated 😉 Let’s stay young at heart forever! 😀
I’ve been having similar thoughts lately. Not quite sure how I feel about the phenomenon yet…
My plan is to stay 29 forever and to keep watching Disney and Pixar 🙂 I’m going to have a scatter cushion bonfire methinks 😀
Late at night, and dancing around the bonfire must be involved!
Most definitely! May I wear a feathered headdress do you think? 😉
I think I might be well on my way to adulthood. I officially own 3 houseplants (that have managed to survive in my house for 4 months) & I’m on my way to counting my light bulbs…
4 months you say? I thought the lifespan of an average houseplant was just shy of 2 weeks. I applaud you. Does watering help? Is that true do you know, or just a rumour?
Haha, well one is a cactus-type plant, so I just generally ignore it. The other 2, my grandmother calls once a week & says, have you watered your plants?-wait did I just ruin my adultness with that statement?
You might have ruined the mystique, just a little. Cactus plants are the way forward. I hear there’ll be the only things left on this planet to keep the cockroaches company post apocalypse. Probably wise to be nice to them 😉
I have that trouble sometimes and I have two kids. Sometimes it’s rough when you realize you’re the one who has to make the decisions. I’m rather enjoying second childhood sometimes and then I have to go and be all grown up about stuff. It’s not fair.
I sincerely hope I never grow up fully. Let’s never take ourselves too seriously! Second childhood sounds like a plan 🙂
Such a fun blog to read. Thanks for the smile this morning.
Such a lovely thing to say, thanks! I do hope so 🙂
This was a funny but oh so real thought! Look at how grown up we have become.
I’m desperately trying to hold on to my childhood for as long as possible – though I think getting excited about a toaster was the nail in the coffin for me 😉 Thanks!
I’ve just been reading this out loud to my whole family. So funny, you are such a treat! I will never be a grown up. If I had a pixie I could snaffle dust from – I’d be on my way to Neverland…
Dianne, you have just made my day – thank you! 🙂 May I recommend that if you manage to procure any pixie dust then you try marketing it on E-Bay? I hear there’s a big market for it.
I may join you in Neverland! Have always wanted to fly and never ever grow up 🙂
Oh come on now, don’t be too hard on the scatter cushions! Like the ornaments they look pretty – but unlike they ornaments you can take naps on them 🙂 I know you probably aren’t supposed to, but that hasn’t stopped me yet 😉
But they’re so hard and un-cushion like! Do you sleep on rocks too? Impressive 😀
Oh I have nice comfy ones, I must have found loop hole scatter cushions that are both fashionable and functional 😉 but yes if they are as hard as rocks I would be quite unimpressed too!
If reality is hitting you, wait until you get to be my age. My kids are your age but that doesn’t mean I have to be grown up all the time. Sometimes I jump around singing songs from Grease.
Just to prove it, I have two dead houseplants, no spare light bulbs, (at least none that fit any appliance I own), and if scatter cushions are what we call throw pillows I don’t have one single one. I think one of my dogs ate them.
I will now march off singing Forever Young. The Rod Stewart version. 🙂
Ann, have I told you lately that I love you? 😉 You do make me smile. Excellent news that I can continue my adolescence for the rest of forever.
I’m having a scatter cushion bonfire (yes, I believe they are also known as throw pillows), want to join in? 😉
I favour Chesney Hawkes ‘I Am the One and Only’, but good call on Rod Stewart. My mother once shared the back of a limo with him. But that’s a story for another day 😉
Hmmm. I think the veges to wine ratio might change in your thirties. Wine is a type of fruit right?
Why do you need ID to buy a can opener? What nefarious use are the youth of England using can openers for?
It has grapes in it, therefore it counts as one of your five a day. Excellent plan – I am nearly thirty after all 😉
I believe the item in question has a sharp edge with which to open tins and as such it is classed as a blade. It could have been worse – a friend of mine needed ID to purchase knitting needles. I dread to think what crimes have been committed using such items! The mind boggles…
I never really understood the need for all those pillows on the bed. as far as I can tell, they are never to be used for anything besides floor decoration when you wanna actually use the bed. perhaps when I understand the need for them, I will finally be a grown up 🙂
As someone who invested in a few of the offending articles in question, I can assure you they serve no purpose whatsoever, aside from floor decoration (shrewdly observed) and being a hindrance for getting into bed. Never buy any. There’s no need to grow up, childhood rules! 🙂
Don’t you dare grow up! You’re too funny to get all old on us.
That’s a great excuse for me to maintain the mental age of a 3 year old FOREVER! Thank you! Yay! 😉
Time does seem to fly when you are having fun 😉 I chuckled at the way you hugged the lady who asked for your ID. How things change,huh?
Yep. Ten years ago I would have told her I was 19 and that it was an outrage she dared to ask me – now I love her for it 😉
You do realize you don’t actually HAVE to grow up, right?
Stay young at heart, my cute friend!
I sincerely hope to stay young at heart (and when I say young, I mean like pre-school young) forever and ever and ever! 😀
Thanks Master Hook! 😀
For me, the shock of getting older never goes away. But I have a rule about aging that gets me through times of worry.
“Getting older sure beats the alternative!”
(Where do I sign up to help ban excessive throw pillows?) 🙂
Good thinking Batman. I shall remember that one 🙂
I’ll add you to my ever-growing list of anti scatter cushion protesters. “Down with superfluous cushions, up with…chocolate!” 😉
In all fairness, I’m seventeen, I would never let justin Bieber near any of my knickers and I was over the moon when Santa finally took me seriously and left me a panini machine under the tree last year. I don’t think you ever really have to grow up if you don’t want to though – especially if you know all the moves to ‘Backstreets Back’ because that will be forever cool! 🙂
You are wise for one so young – you’ll go far 😉 Good call on Justin Bieber and excellent Christmas gift choosing, bravo.
Backstreet boys, forever cool? Woohoo!! 😀
You couldn’t just leave well enough alone, could you?
You just had to go and drag us all down with you, didn’t you?
I Am An ADULT!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*sniff, sniff* 😥
I guess I’ll sign that petition now…
Please forgive me. I really should have prefixed this with a warning about sitting down first and bracing yourself for shocking developments. Apologies.
All you need to do is find a time machine, or dance to the Backstreet Boys and all will be good with the world once more 🙂
It really hurt when I hired my first employee born in 1995. Soon I’ll feel real old when I hire that first born in 2000. LOL
Surely not? How could this have happened? When did we get old? Argh! 😉
My motto is, I may get older but I’ll always be a kid at heart
Good thinking Batman! 😉 I like it 🙂
Great post, I know the feeling. Im sure that before I hit 30 I could get up from the sofa without making an old man groaning noise!
Ha! So true! 🙂 I think my sofa now groans when I sit on it 😉
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