Life Before Facebook

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Jessseeker

Does anyone else remember life before Facebook? It was such a simple time:

Poking resulted in bruising.

You didn’t have 367 friends you never talk to.

No one knew, or cared what you ate for lunch. They still don’t care.

If someone wrote on your wall, you’d report them for vandalism. Now you actively encourage friends to do so.

Unless you wore a ring on your finger or your heart on your sleeve, then your relationship status was often a mystery to others.

You were only tagged in the playground by friends, not when eating chicken wings at Nando’s.

Your mother merely suspected you made a complete twit of yourself on Friday night. Now she has photographic evidence.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE:

Nobody forgets your birthday anymore. Facebook won’t let them.

You have a captive audience* to promote your latest business venture / charitable event / blog post / boyfriend / kitten. *Until they get bored and unfriend you.

There’s always detagging. Phew.

The power of networking. Presidents have been elected, Dictators fallen and Simon Cowell undermined, all thanks to Facebook. God bless it.

You learn new things. Like the medicinal power of peas, courtesy of your cousin’s constipated goldfish.

Think of your Profile as the coolest autobiographical scrapbook ever. Absolutely no need to faff with glue, scissors, glitter, pretty paper, or not-so pretty paper cuts:

56 thoughts on “Life Before Facebook”

Mr Bunny Chow on February 23, 2012 at 5:03 pm said:

I still think that Google+ is going to be the way forward though

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm said:
  
  Quite possibly – and then something else after that 🙂 Who knows what the future may hold? I remember thinking the Commodore 64 was the future! 😉
  
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Balsillie & Associates on February 23, 2012 at 5:09 pm said:

Yes, very scary how much time people are using Facebook, everyday!

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 5:45 pm said:
  
  It’s quite unbelievable! Thanks for popping by 🙂
  
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muddledmom on February 23, 2012 at 5:12 pm said:

How did we ever get along without it?? Life was really so much simpler then. : )

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 5:46 pm said:
  
  I struggle to remember! Would do most people an awful lot of good to go cold turkey from it for a few days 🙂
  
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makenzieking on February 23, 2012 at 5:58 pm said:

Funny how not that long ago we were all so concerned about protecting our privacy, look at us now! -Cheers!

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 6:07 pm said:
  
  So true. Thanks 🙂
  
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John-Paul on February 23, 2012 at 5:58 pm said:

The photo of the pita bread is open to interpretation. Looking at the vegetable content I’m thinking it is being thrown away. Others may disagree.

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 6:07 pm said:
  
  The photo was taken by me, on honeymoon in Cyprus. The arm is my husband’s (he was trying to steal my pitta, how rude!) Trust me – it was delicious! Despite high salad content 😉
  
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thistrailersucks on February 23, 2012 at 6:14 pm said:

I love your blog! I just started a blog of my own, please check it out http://thistrailersucks.com

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm said:
  
  Thanks! 🙂
  
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inkessence on February 23, 2012 at 6:38 pm said:

Life was simple way back when… personally, I’m glad we have all this networking power now. It makes life a whole lot easier in most respects… however, I know it can make life a whole lot more complicated, too.

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm said:
  
  There’s a lot to be said for it. I concur! 🙂
  
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d_vaz on February 23, 2012 at 7:04 pm said:

I love this and as a Facebook addict I completely agree! Sometimes I do miss the simpler times.

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 8:24 pm said:
  
  Thanks! Love Facebook too – though I imagine a 2 week vacation from it wouldn’t do us any harm either 😉 (What on earth would we do?!)
  
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Chris on February 23, 2012 at 8:15 pm said:

Shit!

Happy birthday!

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- jessseeker on February 23, 2012 at 8:28 pm said:
  
  Chris, Is that a belated response for last year’s birthday, or are you getting in early for this November? And mind your language! Women present! 😉
  
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  - Chris on February 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm said:
    
    Er, yes, either of those…!
    
    PS sorry women!
    
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beginningmiracles on February 23, 2012 at 11:00 pm said:

Totally agree, FB has made society socially awkward.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:29 am said:
  
  I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so! 🙂 Thanks 🙂
  
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ramblinann on February 23, 2012 at 11:58 pm said:

Let’s not forget those really horribly embarrassing pictures that no one used to see. Now everyone gets to see them.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:30 am said:
  
  You’re totally right. I tend to pre-empt any such embarrassing photos, by posting them first. Laugh at myself, before others get a chance 😀
  
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  - ramblinann on February 25, 2012 at 12:53 am said:
    
    I try to hide from all cameras and have some payback pictures just in case. LOL
    
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    - jessseeker on February 25, 2012 at 10:52 am said:
      
      An excellent plan. Brilliant 😀
      
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From The Pews on February 24, 2012 at 2:04 am said:

Oh Yeah!!

That’s what it was like!!!!!

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:39 am said:
  
  How easily forgotten… Amazing how quickly life changes 🙂
  
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From The Pews on February 24, 2012 at 2:05 am said:

Oh yeah…and ummm, nice balloon 😉 LMAO!!!

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:42 am said:
  
  I would love to take credit for the balloon, but my friend fashioned it for me on my Hen Party 🙂
  
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Angie Z. on February 24, 2012 at 2:05 am said:

Truly awesome post. I hate Facebook. Now I better go check my news feed.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:44 am said:
  
  Me too. Now let’s stop wasting time on here and check out who’s poked us…
  
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feistyredhair on February 24, 2012 at 2:39 am said:

This is very amusing. Most of the things you listed at the top are precisely why I don’t have Facebook anymore! I like to keep life simple, if possible. Thanks for the laughs.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:45 am said:
  
  You’re welcome! Glad you like it – and I’m impressed with your ability to stay away from Facebook. I wish I knew how… 🙂
  
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kodakkerouacs on February 24, 2012 at 3:16 am said:

I love this and could not agree more. You should totally post it on Facebook.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:46 am said:
  
  Thanks! I think you may be right… 🙂
  
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WestSideSingleton on February 24, 2012 at 6:26 am said:

This is absolutely brilliant!

I’ve actually learned to avoid Facebook unless it’s to send a message to someone in a different city, check on an event or wish someone happy birthday. Using it for any other reason doesn’t seem necessary and I realised that I was becoming annoyed when things that certain people were posting.

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:48 am said:
  
  Definitely wise to ration it. My favourite new addition to Facebook is the ability to adjust the frequency of updates you receive from said annoying people 🙂 It’s genius!
  
  Thanks!
  
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Natalia on February 24, 2012 at 7:02 am said:

Hahaha! Brilliant! Sorry but I had to re-post it on my Facebook page.. So don’t be scared by sudden traffic. ^-^

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 10:50 am said:
  
  No need to apologise – I’m totally flattered, thanks! 😀 Glad you approve 🙂
  
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yvonne ayoub on February 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm said:

SO TRUE! Brilliant – thank you!

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm said:
  
  Thanks Yvonne, you’re too kind 🙂 Glad to be of service 😉
  
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littlemissobsessivesanatomy on February 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm said:

Wow… well said…
life before FB was different… one thing is for sure everyone has a huge number of friends in their FB that they dont even talk to…

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- jessseeker on February 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm said:
  
  Thank you! I love that people can relate to this 🙂
  
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booksaremyrealities on February 25, 2012 at 4:02 am said:

i do agree. but i could still live without it…

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- jessseeker on February 25, 2012 at 10:55 am said:
  
  But how do you let 367 friends know what you had for lunch? 😉
  
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The Hook on February 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm said:

You mean there actually was life before Facebook?

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- jessseeker on February 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm said:
  
  Apparently so. I believe it dates back to when the earth was flat and life was lived in black and white…Who knew? 😉
  
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simulfactotem on February 29, 2012 at 4:05 am said:

So true, and now when I see friends there is no need to catch up! I have already read it ALL on Facebook!!!!

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- jessseeker on February 29, 2012 at 11:13 am said:
  
  Absolutely! 🙂 Nothing to talk about apart from climate change and the state of the economy. Eek!
  
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speaker7 on March 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm said:

“No one knew, or cared what you ate for lunch. They still don’t care.” Yes.

They also don’t care:
1) if you’re tired
2) if you know how to successfully type song lyrics
3) If you know how to successfully type song lyrics while tired.

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- jessseeker on March 7, 2012 at 9:51 am said:
  
  Whaaaaat? Why did nobody tell me?
  
  In my defence – those SpongeBob Squarepants lyrics really are quite profound “Oh who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”
  
  I concur! 🙂
  
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helen liu on March 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm said:

Yes, I open Facebook everyday, it is like cheking email everyday for me.

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- jessseeker on March 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm said:
  
  It is isn’t it? Can’t possibly live without. Maslow should review his hierarchy of needs… 😉
  
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  - helen liu on March 14, 2012 at 9:45 am said:
    
    It is real!!
    
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Robotic Rhetoric on April 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm said:

Hilarious post, loving your blog 🙂

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- jessseeker on April 4, 2012 at 5:50 pm said:
  
  Why thank you! Welcome to my crazy little world! 🙂
  
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