Meet Goldie. Like me, she is one of five children. Along with her siblings – Blackberry, Snow White, Custard and Silvery, she resides in a bijou waterlogged glass-fronted apartment in the posh part of Watford.
She is a lifelong supporter of Brighton and Hove Albion, though is yet to attend any football matches at their home ground due to mobility issues.
At three years old, Goldie likes nothing more than chewing her siblings’ tails, watching SpongeBob SquarePants and listening to Lady Gaga.
Come Dine with Me was her favourite television programme – until they showed her great-aunt being deep fried and served as an entrée. That kind of took the magic out of it.
Two days ago Goldie took a turn for the worse. Those of a nervous disposition should look away now:
It is fair to say that everyone apart from Goldie’s owner (my cousin Sarah) had given up on her. A patch of lawn at the back of the garden was earmarked for her grave and a discarded tube of Bisto gravy granules was set aside for her coffin.
All was not lost though, as rumour had it that when fish swim upside down – they are not necessarily on their death bed, just somewhat constipated. (Who knew?) Not only that, but frozen peas (yes, peas) aid their digestion.
So Sarah fed Goldie peas accordingly – and look what happened overnight:
It’s a fishy miracle!
I feel there are two morals to this story:
- Never give up on someone you love.
- Give peas a chance.
Ah yes, funny how fish love peas – and how everyone else thinks you’re a little nuts! Peas have certainly come to my rescue a few times!
You knew? Wow! Peas rock! 🙂
She obviously wanted to hang on for the Albion v Liverpool match tomorrow. Go Brighton!
I think that’s what kept her going, yes. That – and the new series of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding 😉
Great post – love your messages! Glad that Goldie made it, but give peas a chance really cracked a smile!
Yay! That was the plan. I was aware it is a bit cheesy, so was a risk – glad you like it 🙂 (Phew!)
I’ll tuck that bit of info away for the next time one of ours goes belly up! Glad Goldie made it!
Genius isn’t it! You learn something new everyday. I had to share my cousin’s wisdom with the world 🙂
Peas as a solution for fish constipation – a totally useful piece of trivia! Good for you for not giving up on the fish 🙂 Nice twist on the morals too!
I wish I could take the credit, but it was all my cousin. Brilliant idea though – who knew about the magic of peas?! Thanks! 🙂
This is so amazing :D!
Glad you like it! Poorly fish + Peas = Happy Fish! Why do they not teach us these things in school? 😉
“GIVE PEAS A CHANCE??!!” Oh. my. god. best line ever. what a perfect closer. you’ve hit it outta the park, me dear. I used to live in the UK and ‘come dine with me’ was one of my favorite shows. i would love it if they did a version here…
Well I don’t know about that – though I am delighted you took such delight in it 😀 Thank you for making me smile! 🙂
Come Dine with Me and Lady Gaga are both outstanding. Goldie clearly has excellent taste 😉
Oh my gosh, who knew I would be feeling so much for a goldfish! Love this post. 🙂
It was looking very hairy for a few hours, but the peas clearly worked their magic. I think they have now sky-rocketed to my all time favourite vegetable. Full of vitamin C and they save poorly fish! 😉
Love the title and this post! I will remember this advice in case we have a belly up issue with our goldfish.
Thanks! Glad to have been of service. I hope that many fish will be saved as a result of this post 😉
Huh, who knew you could feed peas to a dead fish! Learn something new every day.
If she liked Come dine with me, maybe she could follow your brother’s latest 30 day challenge instead. Unless he plans on serving great-aunts, too, of course.
Well, not technically dead… Merely swimming upside down and doing a really good impression of a dead fish. Excellent suggestion – I shall get her onto it 😉 Thanks!
Love it. thanks for a laugh.
You are welcome! Who knew a goldfish could be such a great source of amusement! 😉
I guess I will not be the first to think “Well that was easy peasy!”. I am puzzled by how you tell the fish apart and also whether they all support the same football club, unless the clue is in their names.
Thanks for your consistently amusing posts by the way.
They are all aptly named, courtesy of Sarah’s young children. Silvery is silvery. Goldie is golden. Blackberry is black – and looks kind of like a berry. Genius I tell you – genius 😉 We know she supports Brighton and Hove Albion because she knows all the words to their chants…that and Gaga 🙂
Thanks for the compliment! 🙂
Brilliant post! This made me laugh, and im glad Goldie is on the mend! I expect shes feeling very peasful now 🙂
Ha! Very good! 🙂 It’s good to have a happy ending, thanks!
your blog makes me laugh and now it amazes me too, wow, just wow.
Why thank you! Glad you like it 😀 I couldn’t have done it without Goldie – or a bag of frozen peas 😉
Fish get constipated?! Now I’ve heard everything. As soon as I read it I thought you were going to give her a tummy rub (don’t ask me how… it’s your blog).
So Goldie likes Gaga 😀 I do too sometimes, but don’t tell anyone.
Apparently so…you learn something new every day 🙂 Everyone loves Gaga, there’s no shame in it 😉
I try to visualize Whirled Peas
I’m not sure what to say to that! Good luck 🙂
I made a video for my best friend and this is one of the clips in it. When I read your post I had to share it with you. I hope you like it 🙂 ( my first upload to youtube haha! )
It started off as a cute fish story – you should have warned me about the graphic ending! Traumatised! :S Thanks for posting 🙂
ooopppsss! im sorry! hopefully you can get through your day without wretching forward! :S
I’ll try my best 😉
You’re clever, beautiful, inspiring, witty and now you’re a scientist, too! Keep up the good work! 😉
I’m sorry – you appear to have mistaken me for somebody else 😉 What lovely things to say! THANK YOU so much, you’ve really put a smile on my face. Yay! 🙂
I needed a great gaffaw! Thanks! Peas please.
Thanks! Peas are amazing! I never knew of their magical powers until just the other day 🙂
Well, you learn something new every day. Now I’m wondering just how many fish we’ve buried that were merely constipated. I shudder to think!
Not too many I hope. Just think of how many will now be saved, thanks to the power of peas! 😀
Ahhh this is wonderful!
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Did not know this about fish health. But no matter how much it works, I will NEVER like peas. 😀 Once of the reasons I wrote a post on it. They are torture, pure torture! LOL. But now I must admit, I have to tell people they are good for something thanks to your imparted knowledge. LOL
You are welcome! Now that you finally found a use for them you have a cast iron reason not to eat any: They must be saved for all the constipated fish in the world 😉