My gracious loser face is well rehearsed. I have had many occasions to use it:
- The karaoke judges at Haven Holidays failed to appreciate my flawless rendition of ‘The Shoop Shoop Song’. (When I say “flawless”, I may have exaggerated a little – there were a few tuning issues, I forgot the words and my performance was lacking in melody, harmony and rhythm).
- I once came third in a Michael Jackson lookalike competition.
- Despite 3,792 submissions, none of my artwork ever made it onto Blue Peter.
- Simon Cowell was not amused by my recorder symphony of ‘Three Blind Mice’ – despite playing it through my nose.
- I missed out on the best costume prize at a friend’s Halloween party in 1991. The winner incidentally wore a white bed sheet with two eyeholes cut out of it. Even at eight years old – I could spot a fix at fifty paces.
Having spent so many years being overlooked, underappreciated and totally misunderstood (that’s my defence and I’m sticking with it) imagine my surprise and delight when this humble blog of mine was actually nominated for something fabulous. It was just so unexpected! So I danced like a rock star to celebrate.
Now picture my response when I received four further nominations for other awards – within ten days. (I might have self-combusted a little bit).
Okay, so given my misspent youth, I’m no expert on acceptance speeches – but I think I have a reasonable grasp of the etiquette:
- Thank all the people who made this possible.
- Say something heartfelt.
- Recognise those you believe to be brilliant.
- Have a major wardrobe malfunction. Bras and Knickers are strictly off limits.
- Forget anyone really important. Like your mother/father/border collie.
- Offend people.
- Get intoxicated.
- Bring along a superfluous handbag, or lose a shoe en-route. Thank you Meryl Streep:
SO HERE GOES:
* Thank all the people who made this possible* I wish to express my gratitude and undying love to the following thoroughly upstanding individuals for seeing something in me that Simon Cowell clearly did not. Here they are, along with the awards they bestowed upon me:
*Here’s the heartfelt bit* It means a lot to me; really. Thank you.
*Recognise those you believe to be brilliant* Having spent literally minutes on PowerPoint creating a totally made up, brand new, fancy schmancy award, I would like to present it to the following outstanding blogs for being ruddy marvellous. I highly recommend them to anyone:
The Life and Times of Nathan Badley
I believe this is the point in proceedings when the producer goes to commercials, so before I forget – I’d like to thank my mother, father, lucky pants and dog Yoko – who also made me smile all over my face. (Apart from the time she ate my favourite scrunchie).
Thanks Jess! Smiling is g(f)ood for the soul My first award. I shall cherish it for blog years to come! That’s awesome that your blog is being recognized all over, thanks for sharing the luv!
Well deserved! The first of many 🙂 Now dance like a rock star – it’s what all the cool people do 😉
Thanks, my dear…I’m flattered and honored 😀
Thoroughly deserved. I love your blog. Keep it up! 🙂
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I recognize nearly all of those other blogs so I know I’m in fantastic company. (Really, me up there, too?) Congrats on all your many awards. What a great two weeks you’re having. (Take that, ya stupid, smelly job!)
When you look at your blog stats and see that the link for scrunchie has been clicked on 200 times, don’t worry. It’s just me. I know all too well what a scrunchie is but I thoroughly enjoy reading about them every chance I get.
PS Your dog and my dog must go to the same brow specialist.
You thoroughly deserve to be in such great company! 🙂 You are fabulous and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! 😀
Yay to scrunchies! 😉
Congratulations on the multitude of blog awards! How exciting for you to get all of them at once! Well deserved.
Thanks! A total fluke I’m sure, but delighted nonetheless 🙂
Brilliant!!! Congrats on your well-deserved stardom!!!
Stardom? Where is this stardom of which you speak?! Woohoo! Stardom! Thanks!
You’re going to Hollywood!!!!!! 🙂
Well I am unemployed at the moment and I am reliably informed Hollywood is THE place to seek fame and fortune. H’mm… *Starts packing*
I’m unemployed too, but you like the one with the yellow ticket in hand. 🙂
Sending happy job hunting vibes your way 🙂 Let’s go to Hollywood together! Woo! 😉
Ok. But I’ve got a head start… it’s just a short drive away from me. lol
I commend you on your choices for excellence in Blogland. I still wear my scrunchie (circa 1987) — mainly to hold my hair back whilst cleansing — it’s burgundy and the dang thing still has some serious elasticity! They don’t make ’em like they used to.
Why thank you! 🙂 I wanted to pick out the really exceptional ones – including some hidden gems that often go under the radar 🙂
They don’t make scrunchies like they used to, do they? *Weeps*
you deserve it…congratulations 🙂
Thank you! You are too kind! 😀
Fantastic! Fabulous acceptance! *Applause* Thank you for brightening my days with your posts
You are welcome my lovely! I thought I’d make mine a bit different 🙂
Well deserved – only just found your blog but every posts makes me smille. Thank you :0)
You’re welcome and thanks for the compliment! I’m trying to get the world smiling, one blog at a time 🙂
I love it that even your acceptance speech cracks me up! I’d expect no less. I intend to start writing a number of acceptance speeches now before I become famous and no longer have time for them. Or, maybe I’ll go ahead and post one next week and just pretend to have received some award… kind of like Milli Vanilli pretending to sing. We’ll see. It’s possible I haven’t really thought through it all very well yet.
Anyway, thanks for slapping my LOL Award on your “oh so famous” and “awarded” blog and sharing the love with mine. You’re doing good stuff.
Ha! Glad it made you laugh. Excellent foresight with on the acceptance speech front – you certainly don’t want to be caught unawares regarding that Nobel Prize 😉 Thanks!
Honored…so honored, dearie. Your spirit and kindness really made my day!
I really hope we can collaborate with each other. In the very least, in some radiant and distant way, sustain our efforts to write warm and fuzzy things with lots of self-irony 🙂
Sending you a bright and sunny hug. You rock.
Would love to collaborate – not sure how exactly. Let me know the sort of thing you want and I’ll see what I can do 🙂
Totally up for the warm and fuzzy stuff too. Keep up the good work! 😀
Congratulations. I love your humor and must say you deserve every honor you receive.
Thanks! I’m not sure about that – you are too kind 🙂 Keep smiling 😀
welll done to you and many, many congratulations!
Thank you! *Takes a bow*