I got a splinter the size of a llama in my left pinky.
My brother Chris drew freckles on my hobby horse in indelible ink.
I once forgot to wear cycling shorts under my summer dress at school, so when practising handstands – inadvertently flashed my knickers at all the boys.
A giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man romped through New York City and I thought we were all going to die (so hid behind the sofa).
- Riding a motorcycle.
- Having a pet tiger.
- Getting a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tattoo.
- Helping myself to any more of the grown-ups’ fruit punch.
- Microwaving any of my brothers’ toy soldiers (again). Especially the metal ones.
Children are a lot more intelligent than we give them credit for. I decided at 7 years old that I never wanted to be self-employed like my father, as he worked roughly 87 hours a week and we rarely got any quality time with him. I stand by this decision. Here are my top 10 equally insightful things that children know and adults have forgotten:
1. ANYTHING TASTES BETTER WHEN COATED WITH BREADCRUMBS AND SHAPED LIKE A DINOSAUR.
3. FOR A HANDY SNACK ON THE MOVE – INSPECT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR NOSE.
4. MONSTERS LIVE IN CUPBOARDS, UNDER BEDS AND BENEATH THE STAIRS.
5. ALL BODILY FUNCTIONS, WITHOUT EXCEPTION ARE HILARIOUS.
9. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO BUY WITH THE 37 PENCE AND 2 CHOCOLATE BUTTONS IN YOUR PIGGY BANK: A PONY.
10. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. JUST BELIEVE. (PLEASE SEE POINT 9).