Dear 12 year old me,
I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT…
- You do not marry Ronan Keating.
- As yet, there’s still no sign of hoverboards. (That Michael J Fox has a lot to answer for).
- Take That split up. Robbie Williams gets fat. Gary Barlow also gets fat.
- You haven’t yet holidayed in Space. Though you do get as far as Cyprus – and it’s fabulous.
- In your quest to find a boyfriend who looks like Grant Mitchell – you end up dating a lot of men who look unfortunately like Phil Mitchell.
- You are no longer a short-arse.
- You know that gawky looking fresh prince of Bel-Air? Think of him as an ugly duckling.
- Gary Barlow gets fit. Take That reunite.
- We have progress: Hillary Clinton is now officially more powerful than her husband Bill. Rugby Union legend Gareth Thomas came out. A black man runs the White House.
- The Lion King returned to cinemas in 2011, this time – in high definition and 3D. You still remember (some of) the words.
- You fall in love and get married. Your husband makes you smile every single day. I’m pleased to report –he doesn’t look a thing like Phil Mitchell.
- That thing you’ve heard about called the internet? It’s going to be huge. It may even compensate for the lack of hoverboards.
- You change your mind about the whole teaching career thing. Have a Plan E.
- Princes William and Harry actually become borderline hotties. (Briefly).
- Beware: Facebook.
No need to thank me – I know I am brilliant.
Me (aged 29¼)