Dear Prime Minister, This is why you need me…

RE: Job Ref no. 3947984HELPMEEEEEEEE

Dear Prime Minister,

May I call you Dave? Allow me to introduce myself – I am a consummate banking professional with a proven record of meeting deadlines, hitting targets and delivering excellent customer service. I can roll my tongue, order a hotdog in 17 languages and hold my breath for an hour and a half (so long as no-one pinches my nose).

I would like to put myself forward for the role of Deputy Prime Minister.

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED ME:

IN ADDITION, I WOULD NEVER:

Please wish Nick Clegg all the best for me with his Ostrich Farm venture in Dorset.

As the strongest candidate for the job, I thoroughly recommend you hire me now.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Jessica M

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4 thoughts on “Dear Prime Minister, This is why you need me…

  1. Dear Jess

    I’m afraid the position of VP was invented by Tony B to shut the oaf, John Prescott, up.

    I use it to keep my monkey Clegg happy, but it is a position of no real power.

    As such I find you vastly overqualified.

    You may not call me Dave.

    Yours,

    David Cameron

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