Dear Prime Minister, This is why you need me…

RE: Job Ref no. 3947984HELPMEEEEEEEE

Dear Prime Minister,

May I call you Dave? Allow me to introduce myself – I am a consummate banking professional with a proven record of meeting deadlines, hitting targets and delivering excellent customer service. I can roll my tongue, order a hotdog in 17 languages and hold my breath for an hour and a half (so long as no-one pinches my nose).

I would like to put myself forward for the role of Deputy Prime Minister.



Please wish Nick Clegg all the best for me with his Ostrich Farm venture in Dorset.

As the strongest candidate for the job, I thoroughly recommend you hire me now.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Jessica M

4 thoughts on “Dear Prime Minister, This is why you need me…

  1. Dear Jess

    I’m afraid the position of VP was invented by Tony B to shut the oaf, John Prescott, up.

    I use it to keep my monkey Clegg happy, but it is a position of no real power.

    As such I find you vastly overqualified.

    You may not call me Dave.


    David Cameron

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